Updated: Mar 20, 2019
Momly: adjective\ˈmäm-lee, ˈməmlee \
A mother who is capable of anything and everything; a faithful woman who faces the daily challenges of motherhood with bravery and perseverance; a fighter.
Momly. The word my oldest daughter came up with to describe me. The first time she used the word, I giggled to myself as thoughts of a very muscular woman in red and purple spandex leotards entered my mind. A "manly" woman. A contraindication.
As my daughter started using the word more and more, and it became part of our daily vernacular. Now all of my children use it. I have to admit the word has grown on me. What an absolute honor to be described as "momly" by the children I live for each and every day!
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
I will honestly admit that I've struggled with this single mom gig. It's been a challenge and just plain hard at times. I've cried. I've been angry. I've felt hopeless and lost. I've wanted to jump ship more times than I can count. I've felt weak. I've felt incredibly lonely. I've felt like a failure.
I didn't sign up for this. I was supposed to be living a fantastic life with an intact, church-involved family, laughing and smiling, posting happy family pictures on Facebook. I was not supposed to feel betrayed, unloved and unworthy. I was not supposed to feel like I don't matter to anyone. I was not supposed to wear these scars and to walk around feeling broken on the inside. I was not supposed to be divorced as a Christian woman. I was not supposed to be alone. But here I am.
I had so many plans for my life. Plans that I was sure would work out. My way. Plans that were made without consulting the Father. You see, no matter how much effort I put into planning my life my way, things would never go my way because He is the ultimate planner.
As I look back on how far I have come in my journey of healing since my marriage ended, I realize that I never asked His opinion on life-planning. Not even once. I just did my own thing.
I married a man I knew I had no business even associating with thinking I could handle it. I could fix him and make the marriage work alone. Boy, did I screw things up! Luckily, He was there to protect me when the walls started falling down around me.
Since my divorce, I have made a conscious effort to involve God in every aspect of my life. It takes daily work and constant reminders to myself to stop and ask Him what His plans are for me and to follow those plans exactly.
The Lord has taken me on a faith-building journey that has provided incredible healing. While I still experience pain that sucks the air from my lungs at times, I am at a much better place than I was a few years ago. The pain is resolving and being replaced by His love and mercy. It's being replaced with strength and courage.
I listen for the Lord's voice and I'm surprised at how easily I hear Him now. He's always there. Leading and showing the way. Every day He's helping me to be brave and to persevere through troubled waters. He's teaching me things about myself that I never knew and consistently showing me how amazing I can be... Because of Him.
He gives me the strength I need to be a single parent. He gives me perseverance to pull through for my children every single time. He has shown me how to fight for my life and for my faith. Momly is who I am.
Isaiah 43:1-3 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.